Filling in...

Contrary to what is being seen, lots have been happening but thanks to the finals, I wasn't able to fill in the blanks in this lonely blog of mine. From dinner to a pork haven to my performance in Labuan, to the Beer Appreciation Night (BAN) that happened last night. Here we go~

Dinner with the parents and the darling at Ho's Fine Foods

Grand Dorsett Hotel, Labuan. Nice big room.

Meditation and mentally getting myself prepared for the show

Mind rehearsal before my performance.

Met with Ian Wong on his trip back to Miri.

Mark (far end), Ian (in grey) and Lawrence (in red).

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Then there was the Beer Appreciation Night

(organized by Cuban over at his place)

Gala with beer bong. Overlooked by his caring sis...

Cuban with the beer bong.
Designed a training program for his Brisbane rugby tourney.
Hope all goes well.

Baptizing everyone with the almighty beer bong...

Just the tip of the iceberg...

Abored Chu Chang Yee...

First week of May...

The pressure to perform...

Performed for a family day event at Parkcity Everly Hotel yesterday. Had to do the opening illusion and some walkaround magic. Overall it wasn't that bad and everything went smooth as I had thought. Right after the event I rushed to pick Bel from the the daycare centre where she worked as I was already kinda late. No thanks at all to the delay during the family day.

After lunch with the darling, rushed again to campus for Orientation Night preparations. I was the Organizing Chairperson and the emcee for the evening as well so I kinda took the extra mile to double check the logistics to make sure I don't miss out on any details. The evening went exceptionally well by the way. I was kinda nervous as I rarely emceed for events but it turned out much better than I expected. Night ended with mental and physical fatigue...

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Watched the first episode of the World Series of Poker. It's been a while since we had our poker night and I'll make it a point to revive the tradition when Cuban returns. Motivates me to return to my online poker habits...

One of the suspense moments: Mueller vs Berger.

Billirakis played really well, now the youngest WSOP bracelet winner.

First episode ended with Steve Billirakis winning the WSOP bracelet at the age of 21 yrs and 11 days. Being the youngest player to ever win a bracelet breaking the record of Jeff Madsen (who won the bracelet at the age of 21 yrs and 39 days). If only I could join the WSOP...

Life of a carnie...

Lately been into Carnivale. One of HBO's series. I've watched one episode on HBO a couple years back and it kinda got me hooked then. Found the two season DVD sets and it hooked me on again especially now that I'm actually performing part time. It inspired me in a way as I thought of ideas to spice up my illusion shows. Anyway, Carnivale was sweet. If you expect a lot of action and fast paced thriller you'll be disappointed. Its a movie that kinda explores the arcane and esoteric connection between good and evil. Timeline was in 1934 but they were expecting the coming of the Apocalypse then. To quote a review site:

"...(it) questions identity and vocation, and asserts a cosmological framework no longer in television vogue.You’ll see astonishing sights: a woman vomit coins, a jarred fetus blink, dead men stampede a strip show, and a wheat field shrivel when a lame girl walks. You’ll be barraged by tattoos, Nazis, snakes, dead fish, vanishing trailers, psychic fires, and the explicit beyond. You’ll meet amazing people: a bearded woman, a telekinetic psychic in a coma, a sullen escaped con with mysterious powers, a lizard man, conjoined twins, and a preacher with disturbing visions. It will break your heart, stir your spirit, and engage your curious mind."

Had a talk with my manager about plans to set up a freakshow last year. Plans were kept for Halloween 2006 but due to lack of time and props, we kinda moved it on to this year. Now it seems that it would have to be dragged on to the following year. A combined inspiration of Chaplin, Angel, Houdini, Cirque du Soleil, and Carnivale. I was thinking that if I was involved in this freakshow, it'd be like living Carnivale. Awesome... Anyway, gotta prepare later in the evening for two shows tomorrow. One in the morning and another at noon.

It has been a while too since i worked out. Two weeks to be exact. Now that the new term is starting soon, I think I'd have to reshuffle my life shedule to fit the workouts. Been bingeing on many evilly-fat foods and this has gotta stop. I've sworn off ice cream for now and I think that's a good start. Now I can only have a serving of ice cream per month. Gotta clean up the food intake so I can ultimately reach the goals by December. Studies, on the other hand... another busy term up ahead for me... and I still have no idea if I had passed my Supplementary. The wait is killing me...

word.

The Labuan gig...

It felt very refreshing to be finally over with the Supplementary Exam and the pressure to perform set in really quick the following day when I had to go to Labuan for a gig. I was really nervous about the whole situation mainly because I had just completed the exams and my mind wasn't really set to perform. Barely had enough sleep thanks to the exams and the last thing I needed was such stress. But the show must go on and everything went extremely well...

So I arrived in Labuan and the first thing we did was to go check out the venue of the function. It was the regular semi-ballroom and after a few adjustments and double checking the schedule, we headed off for lunch in town. Jacky mentioned that it was the best chicken rice in Labuan. To be honest, I hate it when people recommend food to me and claim it to be the best. I just think that different people will have different perspectives. Just like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But...

The chicken rice was REALLY good. Well, I won't contradict what I have just said. It was really good to me. I have no idea if its the best chicken rice in Labuan but it definitely is the best chicken rice I've tasted so far. The secret to making a good chicken rice is not in the chicken but in the rice. Nothing more to say about it. I gotta hand it to Jacky for this one...

Then there was the shopping. After lunch I wanted to get some stuff for the darling and my parents so we went shopping for chocolate and liquor. The chocolates were really cool and fancy and I went cross-eyed looking for a good one. But even imported Cadbury's are hard to find in Miri so I ended up getting brands I actually know. There was a Japanese branded chocolate bar that caught my eye. It said 99% Cacao (cacao is another word for cocoa). Regular Cadbury's had around 70-80% cocoa but this was 99% cocoa! I had to and I did get myself a bar of that. That bar of chocolate deserves a special review post to it... Got a carton of Marlboro Reds for Azrul and it was quite cheap. Kinda like a sign of thanks to him for tutoring me for the Supplementary. Other than that, I bought a bottle of Mozart chocolate liqueur for my parents. I've tasted coffee liqueur but never chocolate ones so that itself was motivation for me to get it. There was even chocolate vodka but I decided to get it another day. Anyway, like the Cacao chocolate bar, it deserves a review in another post...

Now, back to the show...

I'm still tryin to get pictures from my performance in Labuan so they will hopefully be up in the next couple posts. Fingers crossed. Jacky invited me over to perform in good faith of what I can do and it was my job to make him look good by entertaining the guests (Kim found out that I was performing there and he gave me a call a day before I went to Labuan and it was good to see him again). It wasn't as hard as I imagined and the crowd was wonderful. It was the kind of crowd that performers would love to have. Enthusiastic, supportive, and most importantly for magicians, skeptical. I am proud to say that I have converted a couple of skeptics that night. A few unexpected twist of events happened along the way as I performed but all turned out amazingly well in the end.

I managed to meet Natalie and her boyfriend Charles after my second sequence. Apparently Charles was into magic at one point but stopped halfway. So I kinda performed for them and it got Charles wanting to learn magic again... The night ended with a supper with Jacky, Kim and their girlfriends.

Exhaustion made me pass out till the next morning...

Moving back into blogspot...

The functions on blogspot has kinda differed compared to a year ago. There are quite a number of big improvements. Good ones. I've been jumping around to find the right place to setup my kinda permanent blog. From Friendster, to an uber personalized one, to Blogspot, Vox, and now back to Blogspot again. I think I stayed the longest on Vox. It was a great place but too many things kinda crowded the whole blog I guess. It was more like a community there. People were great and I had a fair share of stories posted there as well. Anyway, most of my peeps used Blogspot and it was much easier for comments from the masses as well. Maybe that's the main reason I'm moving back here...

Anyway, been studying for a supplementary exam that's gonna happen 13 hours from now. Fatigue hits the brain from all angles and directions. Resitting for an exam is the last thing I need right now and yet I long for a vacation in my holiday. Booked for a performance in Labuan on Saturday. I have yet to brush up on magic and my performance. I'm really positive that I'll eventually manage to retrain my brain to performance mode. The pressure to perform provides me with a calming effect. It's kinda like orgasm. The nervousness before a performance wells up and when its actually time to perform, everything suddenly calms down and I just wish the whole day never ends. Euphoric...

Exhausted from squeezing the juices of the grey matter, I shall update once I return from Labuan...

word.

Mind Over Matter

The capability of the human mind is endless. Yes, this is most probably the statement you'll read about most in this blog. The mind is able to cloud itself, confuse itself, screw itself up and even choose to die by itself. Mental blockages are not uncontrollable. It's as if the mind has a soul of its own...

Perhaps it does...

Hypnosis have been used in the medicine world since the 1840s. Before anaesthetics were created, hypnosis was used to help in surgeries involving amputations and bloody organ operations. Let's skip the details on that. I'm not talking about hypnosis in this context but rather something with reference to it. My method of overcoming the mind's weaknesses.

A question to ask ourselves is what do we want to put in the back of our head? The one thing that makes us shudder just by the mere thought of it. Hate. Phobias. Tolerance. Words. People.

How do we go about keeping them at the back of our head? It seems like an easy task but truth be told, its easier said than done. The pain will remind us it's there to stay. The phobia will never be lost. The words will always hurt. A convenient example that can exhibit this ability to keep thoughts and physical sense at the back of the head is when you get bruises without realising that they're there. The only time you start to feel the pain is when you actually notice its presence. Shark attack victims claim that their first feelings were tugs and not actually the ripping pain that we visualize... How powerful is the mind?

A practice I have been doing for almost a decade is the ability of pushing myself to the limit and remaining calm through its process. It takes more than just words and repeating "I can do it, I can do it, I can do it" ten times. Its not going to help if you don't put your mind to the test... and it certainly will not help if you choose to ignore it or even try to live with it. Fact is, time cannot heal phobias or hate.

Mind over matter. The unconventional method I use. Meditation.

I'm not talking about the part where you sit on the floor with candles around you. No chanting needed. No spirits involved. Its just you and your mind. In a one to one conversation with your gray matter. Getting to know your mind better and vice versa. Your mind will learn to adapt to your command. You slowly learn how it can overcome your fears and feeling. It does not take long hours to meditate. It barely takes more than 5 minutes.

Ok. How?

In the next situation with what you are trying to achieve, be it pain or hate, slowly stare into space on the spot and clear your mind throughout the ordeal. Feel nothing and put yourself in an immediate trance state. Simply clearing your mind would be the challenge. You will find it hard to shake the thought or feeling away. You will fail for the first few times but frequent attempts should help. It took me a lot of years to actually learn how it works. When you finally come back and 'regain consciousness', you will somehow feel slightly more relaxed and calm. Remember that what you're trying to achieve is to keep these thoughts at the back of your head. By pushing it into oblivion, it will slowly cease to exist mentally. This effect, when practiced frequently, will bring your mind to a point that when you finally notice the existence of these negative thoughts, it will almost have no dire effects on you...

The method mentioned works best with minor phobias or mental states that can be easily altered. It has everything to do with what you want to achieve. The honest desire must be there to rid these phobias and feelings. Do not be fooled by its simplicity.

It converted skeptics...

Beyond the eyes of the believer...

I present you illusions that fool your mind. Not just your eyes.

"Yeah, cool. You have quick hands..."

I hate that. It makes people lost touch with what magic is all about. Amazement is lost. There's only the portrayal of a skillful guy with quick hands. Magicians can now be compared with hustlers, cheats, mechanics and almost never a mysterious entertainer. Everyone is dying to be impressed by what a magician can show them...

"Make me disappear..."

Magicians are not all about dissappearing things. Thiefs are.

Magicians are not about escaping cages or giant water tanks. Kidnappers are.

Magicians are not about sawing a lady in half. Executors are.

We just merely give you a visual insight of what it would look like without camera tricks and that these things are not impossible. I want to dispose expressions like, "How the hell can something just dissappear on its own without anyone taking it??" or "How can someone come back from the dead? It's beyond logic!".

Reality is dead. What is real? Real for one does not mean real for another. As a kid, I used to have imaginary friends. They were real to me. They were there whenever I needed them. Its like having a personal genie (I didn't need the bottle or lamp). Those who've encountered the third kind would call them real. Reality is just beyond the eyes of the believer...

The art of levitation. The powers of the mind goes beyond what anyone can imagine. It takes a lot of guts and dedication to actually achieve what I do. Definitely more than, "I want to learn magic. Teach me how to make things disappear!"

The question should be how far are you willing to go to learn it? How much time and effort do you put into wanting to learn the art? Its more than a hobby... It's a livelong commitment. Keeping the mind open and meditating to control emotions is part of the practice. A text message, a cough, a sneeze, a door opening...are easy distractions.

You say, "I just can't keep things out of my mind! I just can't focus!".

Take my hand and join me on a journey down the road called life.

Have you ever been insulted or verbally attacked? Of course. Who hasn't? Now, how do you turn deaf ears towards them? Look away? Think of other things? Ignorance is a mental diversion away from your current engagement. For me this mental diversion is part of the process of meditation. It provides you with the ability to force thoughts out of your mind and just keeping it in a limber state...

I call it the first step...