I am a beggar. Torn and broken down below freezing point, I beg. I beg not for money, for those can be found and made. I beg not for love, or trust, for I deserve them no more. I beg not for charity, kindness, or empathy, for they are merely words. I only beg for one thing. Hope...

Today's a reason for living.
Today's the blood from a stone.
Today's the light from a candle,
helping us to find our way home.
Today we carry each other.
Today the past is a freak.
Today is the time for forgiveness,
you will never beget that to me.

Today is tasting the honey.
Today's the strike of a match.
Today's the lines in the pavement,
helping us to find our way back.
Today's the crosses we carry.
Today's the strength that we need.
Today's the hand of an angel,
you were not the kind to believe

Today we carry each other.
Today we do what we should.
Today is the time for forgiving,
today I wish I could.

I'm sorry I can't lie.
I wasted too much time,
Drowning, I've been blind.
But I've opened up my eyes.
Sorry I can’t lie,
So I'll just say goodbye,
goodbye, goodbye...

Our Lady Peace - Sorry

Dreamt about my inevitable existential nightmare... It has been recorded.

The tin man epilogue bequeaths the אֲבַדּוֹן prologue...

The moon turned red last night... Here it goes.

Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.

-Lawrence of Arabia

I'll get there and more...

I stopped smoking. Withdrawal.

Initially stopped the stick for two years. One of the milestone achieved. Again, I could find a scapegoat to blame it on, but I won't. Going cold turkey is crazy so I have my training to thank for this time. It keeps me sane, and it keeps me motivated.

After all, what I put in me today maketh me tomorrow...

According to a recent study, I would need to take at least one scoop of protein every two waking hours to facilitate recovery...

breakfast was good...

Training resumes today. Got my ice pack to help recover after that so I will probably go all out later. Spoke to Kimberley and apparently she and Ernie both train at the same gym as well. Finally a familiar face! I guess training will be hardcore from now on...

Water caused uneven weight fluctuations. Active recovery session was good and helped heaps. Calves still feeling sore but it'll heal after today's R&R. Will post gains and updates on my Bodyspace. The huge ego buster was me starting from a really low weight just to slowly revive the stagnant muscle fibers...

The Resurrection Phase I

Not being able to train properly and feeling sluggish all the time. That's what 9 months of irregular (almost none) training and falling off the bandwagon did to me. I could take the easy way out and blame my hectic schedule or the constant departure from my locale but I won't. I take full responsibility of the flab that I have clothed on to my torso. Now, it's time to chisel it off.

The training program I designed for myself is very much similiar to my previous one and is a full body training but this one bends more towards incorporating more of the HIT principles that I learnt simply because I do not have the time. I could also post it here to give readers a sense of fullness to the blog, but I won't. For cardio, I'll be doing Tabata all the way.

Day one happened yesterday. The squats and presses destroyed me... I will heal today, and return tomorrow.

word.

Faux Mash Potatoes

1 cup natural yogurt
1 can butter beans (Fiamma)
1/2 cup spring onions
1 tsp garlic salt
1 tbsp flaxseed oil
1 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp thyme or oregano

Drain butter beans. Put em in a bowl and squish the hell outta them. Once done, add yogurt and flaxseed oil to get texture. Add everything else after that. Mix well. Serves 2.

Salad: Spinach and Chicken

2 cups of spinach
1 cup of chicken strips
1 tbsp flaxseed oil
1/2 tsp garlic salt
2 tbsp french vinaigrette

Pour boiling water over spinach leafs till wilted. Drain the water. Add everything in. Mix. Simple and refreshing.

Lifestyle Design Experiment 001

Rare to get a chance to binge drink so when it came by, did my test on the effects on my body and the best remedy for it.

The methodology: To induce hangover by consuming 3 different types of alcohol. Beer, wine and whiskey. Will not go into details of how many I had but it was enough to smash me up the next day.

The damage: More than 15 times of vomit within 24 hours. Severely dehydrated, short term fever, inflammed throat. Emptied stomach contents to just gastric juice.

The recovery: Since all I consumed was alcohol and no water, I was in a state of severe dehydration. Sips of water to rehydrate myself was rejected through vomit. For breakfast, tried to consume liquid carbs for fuel but was also rejected. Continued little sips of water. Warm barley and tea was also consumed.

Rehydration was done via an electrolyte drink. 100 Plus or Gatorade would do the trick. Then to replenish the healthy bacteria in the stomach and to protect stomach lining, a healthy dose of vitagen and yogurt.

Sips of water continues, and eventually increased to a glass every 30 mins or so.